A Ruthless Examination of Hurry

When "slow down" isn't always the right advice

While they were traveling, he entered a village, and a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. She had a sister named Mary, who also sat at the Lord’s feet and was listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by her many tasks, and she came up and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to serve alone? So tell her to give me a hand.” The Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has made the right choice, and it will not be taken away from her.” -Luke 10:38-42 (CSB)

Countless spiritual teachers have used the Mary and Martha story to encourage us to be more like Mary. And Jesus himself tells Martha, in this instance, she should have been more like Mary.

And it makes sense, it wouldn’t be long before Jesus was no longer physically with them. Every moment with him was temporary and sacred and one-of-a-kind. Like older parents tell us young parents: “cherish every moment.” But there’s also the universal significance, that all of life is about a relationship with God, not just doing things for God.

The spiritual formation tradition has really been hammering this idea, emphasizing the dangers of overactivity. Dallas Willard famously said to Pastor John Ortberg: “You must ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life. Hurry is the great enemy of the spiritual life in our day.” Then John Mark Comer took Willard’s quote and wrote his bestseller, The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry, emphasizing spiritual disciplines like sabbath, silence and solitude, and driving the speed limit.

In his most recent Practicing the Way, Comer says: “The call to apprentice under Jesus is a call not to do more but to do less. It’s not addition but subtraction.” We’re encouraged to audit our (screen) time, recognizing that when we say “yes” to something, we say “no” to a hundred other things.

In our fast-paced world, with more options and opportunities than ever before, learning how to slow down, say no, and live with margin is vital.

I. A Critique of the Contemplative

With all that said, I am starting to see some limitations to this advice. When the call to “do less” might NOT be as helpful.

Photo by Stanley Morales: https://www.pexels.com/photo/people-wearing-backpacks-1454360/

I think of college students. I was recently speaking at Simpson University, my alma mater, and I realized that what I needed to hear, and what my church needed to hear (“do less, have margin, clear the schedule”), was not necessarily what these students needed to hear.

For one, what could they even do about it? I mean, there are always those crazy students who take like thirty-five units a term while working two full time jobs, with endless coffee and bloodshot eyes. But most college students, especially student-athletes, have very little margin, but it’s manageable. And secondly, I remembered back to my own college years, between school and then camp ministry in the summers. It was the busiest season of my life. And it was extremely valuable.

There was something about a full schedule that developed more in me and demanded more from me. I got pushed way beyond my perceived capacity and comfort zone by professors, coaches, bosses, and ministry leaders. I learned way more about what I was good at and what I wasn’t. It taught me diligence, resilience, and self-regulation. Skills and wisdom.

Life is about acknowledging our limitations, but it’s also about knowing what those limitations actually are. Testing them, stretching them, pushing them. All growth comes from healthy stress.

In other words, I realized that in a college context, the call to clear our schedules isn’t always wise, helpful, or even possible.

I think it’s similar for blue collar workers or those in poverty or for parents with young kids. And on the one hand, the contemplative tradition at its best might help, say, young moms realize that they can say “no” to everything else but keeping the house from burning down. But very often, there can be a sense of guilt that “I don’t get to spend time with God like I used to.” Spiritual practices like sabbath seem unattainable for sleep-deprived parents.

I also think the contemplative tradition can sometimes (unintentionally) provide cover for selfishness. I’m thinking particularly about introverts like me. We like our quiet time. We love sabbath. We thrived during COVID lockdowns. So the potential caution for introverts is when “spending time with Jesus” becomes an excuse for neglecting others.

Finally, the call to slow down tends to underemphasize the need for an active life.

The opposite danger from overactivity might be what Paul calls “idleness” (2 Thess 3:6-14). Like the cliche says: “Idle hands are the devil’s workshop.” Think of Paul’s exhortation in Romans 12:10-11, 13, which says “Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.”

That looks more active than contemplative.

And in fact, even in Luke 10 itself, where we read the Mary & Martha story, there is a ton of activity happening around that story.

It starts with Jesus sending out the 72 disciples to do the same kinds of things they saw him do. Full schedules (Luke 10:1-23). Jesus then teaches about the most important command: to love God with everything and love your neighbor as yourself, and tells the Good Samaritan story to illustrate it. Love is active (Luke 10:24-37). Then we read the story of Mary and Martha (Luke 10:38-42), a helpful “catch your breath moment” in what’s otherwise been a fast-paced narrative. Finally in chapter 11, Jesus stresses persistence in prayer, illustrating with a parable of someone who won’t stop knocking at his neighbor’s door. All this to say, the surrounding context of the Mary and Martha story is lots of important activity.

II. Some Closing Reflections

1) When God teaches you something, it might not be for everyone.

Sometimes, when we get something really good from the Lord, we’re like a hammer in search of a nail. We want everyone to read the book, listen to the podcast, attempt the practice, or try the diet. But it might not be the thing that they need in that season. The message to burned out Millennials or retired Boomers might not be the message that Gen Z or Gen Alpha need right now.

Second, as some guy said on X,

2) “People tend to gravitate to exhortations they have no problem with following.” -Stephen Hillier

We like to hear things that confirm what we are already doing and experiencing and enjoying. Contemplatives like the contemplative tradition, the social justice folks like the social justice tradition. But we might need to hear exhortations from other parts of the body of Christ to remind us of our own blind spots and growth areas.

Along the same lines,

3) Younger people might need a different exhortation than “eliminate hurry.”

In Sacred Fire, Ronald Rolhesier tells of a sermon he once preached on Mary and Martha. He talked about the difference between being and doing, and how we ought to take our sense of worth “from who we are rather than from what we do.” To illustrate his points, he had some fire quotes from Mother Teresa and Henri Nouwen. But a man came up to him after his sermon with a respectful and insightful critique, saying:

“Have you ever wondered at the fact that it is invariably very successful people and high achievers who, after they have achieved a lot, tell you that it isn’t important to achieve anything? I think of Mother Teresa, a household name for the whole world, carrying the Nobel Peace prize, stepping off a plane somewhere and telling a large adoring audience that it isn’t important to achieve anything. Just be faithful. Or Henri Nouwen, after he had written fifty books and turned down teaching jobs at Harvard and Yale, telling us that it isn’t important to be a success, that being is more important than doing. True, no doubt, but tell me this: from where do you get a good sense of self-worth if you are a big, fat nobody?”

That’s both hilarious and profound. Rolhesier recognized something in that man’s critique:

“Jesus’ challenge to Martha to move more from activity to contemplation, from doing to being, applies more to someone who is already established in life than to someone who is young and still struggling to establish herself.”

Luke Stamps on X had an excellent thread, saying:

“I see a potential problem with all the Gen-Zers devouring John Mark Comer's Ruthless Elimination of Hurry and it has nothing to do with the substance (there are strengths and weaknesses). It has to do with audience and life context. . .The caution against a hurried life and the exhortation to a slower pace that allows for contemplation applies more to later life stages. For many college students, they actually need the opposite exhortation, namely, toward diligence, self-sacrifice, and resiliency. To be sure, even college students need space for spiritual exercises like silence and solitude. Everyone does. But the more pressing need for many is encouragement in the active life. Wake up early, go to class, study hard, join a church and volunteer your time. I don't want to paint with too broad a brush but a hurried pace is not how I would describe most young people's lives.”

The comments on X to this post were thought-provoking and could each be their own blog post.

Noah Senthil somewhat disagreed with Stamps:

“The formation of a virtue like diligence is aided by a slower pace of life that allows you to focus on a particular task. A hurried life is a scattered, anxious one, often driven by disordered affections, unbridled passions, or curiosity—instead of studiousness. That’s what I see in a lot of Gen Z.”

A good point. Stamps then responded well: “We are called to both an active life and a contemplative life. I just think pastoral wisdom requires discerning which emphasis is most needed for each audience.”

Glenn Packium then chimed in:

“You’re not wrong about the kinds of spirituality needed in diff life stages— Rolheiser prescribes this very thing in Sacred Fire; the spirituality for young people ought to be “Use me, Lord!” Then in mid life, it becomes, “Break me, Lord.” JMC [John Mark Comer] knows this and would agree.”

Someone else then testified to something Pastor Jon Tyson recently said to a room full of church leaders:

"Some of you are worried about burning out. . .and you haven't even burned yet."

That’s pretty funny. It’s like someone in a job interview only interested in the company’s work/life balance. I believe in work/life balance, but if a potential employee is asking about it before he even starts, I would have concerns about that candidate’s work ethic.

If all our older mentors are telling our younger leaders to watch out for burnout, they might be coddling them and holding them back from the kind of contribution they are capable of.

Matthew Price tweeted: “The high energy, & low stakes of youth shouldn’t be wasted.”

Amen! If you’re in high school or college or in your twenties, use this decade well! Build lots of relationships, try lots of new things, recognize what you’re good at and what you can grow in and what you probably shouldn’t continue doing. Invest in skills, physically, emotionally, relationally, professionally, that will serve you and others for a lifetime. Move fast and build things, and say sorry if you accidentally run over someone. Men in particular, use your strength to serve others, use your energy to encourage others. Conquer addictions and issues early, or don’t let them ever start. Regain your focus and attention from the social media algorithm.

“I have written to you, young men, because you are strong, God’s word remains in you, and you have conquered the evil one.” 1 John 2:14b

Know your limits and respect them, but also test and stretch them, challenge them. Do hard things. There is so much value in you that can bless the lives of those around you. Learn and develop and edit and become.

4) Finally, love is the bridge between the contemplative and the active.

It’s not really about having a contemplative spirituality or an active spirituality. It’s about love. Loving God with our entire selves and loving those around us as ourselves.

Love means I will withdraw for prayer and scripture, out of love for God and out of love for others. A healthy, rested, and thoughtful Tyler is the best gift I could give my family, friends, and church.

Love also means that when my kids or my wife interrupts my quiet time, or someone else interrupts my plans, that I can respond with love and non-resentful action when necessary.

Love means there are times, like Jesus, to withdraw and retreat, to slow down and be still. And there are times, like Jesus, to go “pedal-to-the-metal,” non-stop, forgetting to even eat, exhausting ourselves for the sake of others. Love (and wisdom) shows us what’s required of us.

How have you personally worked through the tension of slowing down vs speeding up?

Thanks for reading!

-Tyler